A burnt nipple, a moose, exploding eggs and dog urine. It’s the most ridiculous football injuries of all time.
10. Adam Chapman
This weekend Adam Chapman was almost ruled out of Oxford United’s game against Wycombe Wanderers after pouring boiling milk onto his nipple, which he had been heating for his baby daughter.
"It’s ridiculous," Oxford manager Chris Wilder told BBC Radio Oxford. Hard to argue, really.
Having just made his debut for Corinthians in 2009, Brazilian journalists were understandably excited about the chance to interview one of their country’s greatest ever players. A media scrum resulted in a black eye for Ronaldo, a three time winner of the FIFA World Player of the Year award.
Let’s remember Ronaldo for his best moments, shall we?
8. Svein Grondalen
Norwegian defender Svein Grondalen is far from a household name, and indeed isn’t even famous enough to have a picture in our library, but his injury makes him well worthy of renown in our book.
Whilst on a jog in the forest near his house in a bid to boost his game fitness, Grondalen collided with a moose.
How he didn’t see it, we don’t know, but he was unable to play in his club’s next game.
7. David Batty
Midfield enforcer David Batty had a hard man image during his playing days - until he was run over by his daughter’s tricycle.
She was two years old, but she damaged his ankle ligaments, showing who the real boss was in the Batty household.
6. Rio Ferdinand
Whilst at Leeds United, Rio Ferdinand was sat at home rather enjoying his football game Pro Evolution Soccer. He was sitting with his feet up on his coffee table, and managed to strain a tendon in his knee - having not moved from the same position for hours.
He actually injured himself through pure inactivity.
Rio Ferdinand, we salute you.
5. Darren Barnard
Darren Barnard slipped in a puddle of his dog’s urine and injured the cruciate ligament of his knee.
He was then sidelined for six months.
We guess the moral of this story is to train your dog properly.
4. Mart Poom
Playing in a charity game for Derby against an Iron Maiden XI (what!?), Mart Poom and one of the heavy metal legends went for the same ball.
It is safe to say that Poom came off worse. Not only did he suffer concussion, but he also suffered an injury to his groin region. You’ll forgive us if we don’t go into too much detail.
3. Dave Beasant
Whilst in the midst of constructing a sensational culinary delight, Dave Beasant realised the crucial ingredient missing was salad cream.
Oh, and glass.
Deciding against conventional tools, he elected to smash a bottle of salad cream onto his foot. Two birds, one stone etc.
Actually Dave: three birds. The third bird in this tortuous analogy is your foot.
Beasant severed the tendon on his big toe and could not play for eight weeks.
2. Liam Lawrence
Like Darren Barnard, Liam Lawrence suffered a canine related injury, except that the Ireland international actually fell over the dog itself in the dark.
What’s more, he fell over the dog on his landing - and promptly fell down the stairs as well.
1. Kirk Broadfoot
You might well hang your head in shame, Kirk Broadfoot, for you have topped this list for the most ridiculous football injury ever.
Everyone knows that eggs are far less delicious from the microwave, but sometimes you’re in a rush. It’s the only thing you can do when you get that egg craving – but you just. can’t. wait. Kirk Broadfoot just couldn’t stop thinking about eggs on May 14th 2009. He opted for the microwave.
It was a schoolboy error of the highest degree. Eighty or so seconds later (depending on the wattage of Broadfoot’s microwave), he opened the door and they exploded in his face. He got facial burns, and “Egg on face… literally” headlines of course followed. I imagine the embarrassment was even worse than the physical pain.
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